A musing on a life lived and lost.
Everyone has a chapter that they don’t read out loud. A chapter that got you stuck for days, months or may be even years. A chapter you know, can bring you pain but still wish to read any day, every day. Each time you flip through the pages, everything feels afresh; the happiness, the pain, the trauma. Nights after nights you revise the same old chapter as if, it is all new in your hand. A musing that holds you back. Every line is by heart but still your heart wishes for a different ending. Some sentences will make you laugh, some will make you cry. Some words will get you confused, some will make you remember things you started forgetting, unknowingly.
Your hands will shiver when you turn off certain pages, as you already know, you can’t take what is coming in the next one. You will wish to rub off and rewrite some sentences. You wish some characters never entered and some, never left. When you read through the lines like “He was laughing”, you’ll remember how his forehead skin, formed patterns and how his eyes shined when he laughed. You’ll feel everything, even the climate of each scene; how heavy the rainfall was and how beautiful the evening sky was. In each dialogues, you’ll literally feel their voice.
And it will break your heart a little more. You’ll feel every emotions all over again. You’ll stare at the ceiling pattern, wondering how a single chapter can hold so much of yourself within its story. As you flip the last page and read the last sentence, you’ll gasp, thinking, why your favorite story gave you the deepest scar. But as always, you’ll be left unanswered! ⠀
Read a similar post here.